I'll Always Be In Your Heart
by lawandorderSVUismylife
Summary: She was stubborn. I told her to stop chasing Millani. I told her he wasn't worth it. But she didn't listen. That was why i was watching two preachers lower a coffin into the damp ground. Her coffin. Olivia Benson's coffin.


**A/N: yes this is gonna be a sad one. i was laying in my bed last night and it popped into my head. this was _after _all of the tornado sirens around our house went off and a frickin tree fell in our yard :p**

**disclaimer: nope. sadly, i own no one :(**

Elliot's POV

I told her to stop running. To stop chasing Millani. She didn't listen. She wanted to get him, she needed to, after what he had done to those girls. That was Olivia Benson. Stubborn and determined. But her being stubborn and determined was also the reason why i'm standing here, why _we're _standing here, in the rain, dressed in black. The whole squad. Everyone holding roses. Watching two preachers lower a coffin into the wet ground. Her coffin. Olivia Benson's coffin.

_*Flashback*_

_"Elliot, he went this way!" Olivia screamed, chasing after Millani, who was sprinting just ahead of her into a dark, empty building. Elliot quickly followed behind her, gun in hand. _

_The whole SVU squad had been trying to capture Victor Millani for the past two weeks. He beat, raped, and murdered six girls, all under the age of twelve. Every time they got Millani in custody, he would escape. They didn't know how or when he did it, but he did. _

_That night, Liv and El decided to go to dinner after work. They went to an Italian Resturaunt right outside their building. Just as they were sitting down, Olivia glanced outside and saw Millani, walking across the street, his hood up over his head. She pointed him out to Elliot and they both got up and left the resturaunt, following closely behind Millani. After a few minutes, Millani got a feeling that someone was following him and sure enough, when he turned around, Liv and El were standing there. He took off in a sprint and the two SVU detectives were forced to chase him. After about five minutes of just running, he ran into an abandoned building. _

_"Elliot, c'mon!" Olivia screamed once again. "We're gonna lose him!" _

_Elliot ran up to Olivia, who was slowly walking into the building, her gun drawn. "Liv," he said quietly, "C'mon. We can't go in there by ourselves. Remember Gitano? Liv, we can't go through that agin. We need back-up." He put his hand on her shoulder._

_Olivia stopped and shuddered, remembering what happened with Gitano. Then she sighed. "El, we've been trying to catch this guy for two weeks. Two whole weeks. We finally have him. You can't just give up."_

_Elliot stared into Olivia's eyes. Those brown, beautiful eyes that he had fallen in love with over the years. "Liv, don't," he finally said._

_Olivia stared back at him, into his blue eyes. "Fine," she whispered. "You go call for back-up, but im staying here, just incase he runs."_

_Elliot nodded his head. "My radio's in the car. Stay here, okay. I'll be right back." Olivia nodded and Elliot ran back to their car to get his radio._

_He got back to the door of the building a few minutes later. "Okay Liv, back-up should be here in about-" Then, he froze. Olivia was nowhere to be seen. He walked around the entire building and still didn't see Olivia. Elliot started to panic._

_"Liv?" he called out. "Liv, is this is some type of joke, it's not funny!" Then he heard her scream inside the building._

_Elliot's heart started beaiting so fast that he though it was going to fly out of his chest. He drew his gun and ran into the building. Seeing just black inside, he felt along the wall for a light switch. Sure enought, there was one to the right of the door. He flipped it on. _

_The room of the building was just filled with old boxes and crates. 'This feels just like another Gitano' Elliot thought Then he heard Olivia scream again. He ran towards the door where her scream was coming from. He counted to three in his head and kicked down the door as hard as he could. What he saw next terrified him. _

_Olivia was laying on the floor, blood pouring out of her nose. Her body was already bruised and her eye was black and blue. Millanni stood over her, holding her gun. He looked over at Elliot when he walked in the door. _

_"Well, well, well," Millani said mockingly, "look who's here, _Olivia_." He grabbed her arm and yanked her up off the ground. Olivia groaned loudly from the pain._

_Elliot couldn't take this. "Put her down," he growled at Millani through clenched teeth. _

_Millani looked at Elliot. "Not until you drop your gun," he said, bringing his gun up to Olivia's temple._

_Olivia looked at Elliot. Elliot saw the tears in her eyes that threatened to fall. "Elliot," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I should've listened to you. I'm so sorry."_

_Elliot shook his head. "Liv, it's okay. I would've done the same thing."_

_Millani pushed the gun harder into her temple and Olivia winced in pain. Elliot took a step forward and highered his gun. _

_Millani laughed. "If you're thinking of shooting me, i hope you have a good shot," he said, hiding behind Olivia. Elliot sighed and Olivia bit her lip. They both knew this was Gitano happening all over again. Only this time, it was Olivia who was in more danger._

_"Just put. the gun. down," Elliot said slowly. "we'll get you out. no one has to get hurt."_

_Millani laughed again. A shallow, evil laugh. "Yeah, sure. No one has to get hurt. That's what you cops always say. You know what i say? I say that you're a bunch a douches."_

_Elliot would've been pissed beyond belief if he heard Millani say this, but he was too concentrated on Olivia. He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek, another one in her eye threatening to fall. She was looking at him with the same emotion in her eyes. _

_"Hey!" Millani yelled, noticing that the two detectives weren't paying any attention to him. "Hey! Look at me!"_

_Elliot never took his eyes off of Olivia, while Olivia never took hers off of Elliot. _

_Millani pushed the gun even harder into Olivia's temple. "Bitch, listen to me!" he screamed in her ear. But Olivia couldn't hear him anymore. She wasn't in the same room as him, or so it seemed. All she saw was Elliot. _

_She smiled a sad, sorry smile. "I'm sorry, El," she whispered. _

_Elliot shook his head. "No Liv, no apologizing yet. It's not over. We'll get outa here."_

_Millani laughed a sarcastic laugh and shook his head. "Over my dead body."_

_Elliot clenched his teeth. "That can be arranged," he growled, never taking his eyes off of Olivia. He took a step closer. _

_Millani took a step back as Elliot walked toward him. "One more step, and your little friend here is dead."_

_Elliot froze right where he was. "Please Millani, you need help. You can get it. Just let her go. Take me."_

_Olivia's eyes widened. "No, El. Stop it! No. If anyone has to get out, it's gonna be you. You have a family. I have no one. You have people who'll miss you. I don't. It's okay."_

_Elliot shook his head. "Liv, that's not true. Cragen would miss you. Munch and Fin would miss you. Olivia, I would miss you. No one's gonna die. I promise."_

_Millani grinned. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he said, adjusting the gun in his hand. _

_Olivia turned her head around and looked at him. "You're a son-of-a-bitch!" she yelled. She put her hand out to slap him._

_"Liv, don't!" Elliot yelled, but it was too late. _

_Millani covered his cheek with his hand and looked at Olivia. "Never. Slap me!" he yelled, pulling the trigger._

_Elliot heard the gunshot and watched Olivia fall to the floor. He didn't think twice before shooting Millani, four times to the head. He sprinted over to Olivia. _

_"Oh god, Liv!" He bent down and put her head on his lap. He pulled out his radio._

_"Officer down! I repeat! Officer down! We need a bus! Now!" He gave the address of the building and threw down his walkie-talkie. Elliot looked at Liv, whose eyes were getting droopy. _

_"Liv, hold on okay Liv. The bus is coming. Everything's gonna be fine." He found where she was shot, right below her shoulder, and put pressure on it. Olivia winced. Barely, but Elliot could still see her._

_"Olivia, everything's gonna be fine." He saw her eyes slowly closing and panicked. "Liv, look at me. Look right at me. Do not close your eyes. Look at me."_

_Olivia opened her eyes just a little and looked at Elliot. "Elliot," she said in a raspy voice, "im sorry." _

_Elliot shook his head. "Tell me this in the hospital Liv. You'll make it, you'll see."_

_Olivia barely shook her head. "It's okay Elliot. I wanted to...to die this way. Trying to help someone else."_

_A tear rolled down Elliot's cheek. He couldn't lose his best friend. "Liv, please don't say that. You're not gonna die."_

_Olivia smiled faintly. "Thank you for being with me Elliot. Thank you for being my best friend. I'll always love you," and with that, she closed her eyes, and faded away._

_*End Flashback*_

Elliot's POV (again)

"Elliot." I heard someone call my name behind me.I turned around to see Cragen walking over to me. He stood next to me, looking down at where she was just buried. Her headstone perfectly in place. I let one tear fall. The rest I kept hidden. I couldn't let Cragen see me break. I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"El, you did everything you could," I heard him say to me. "It wasn't your fault."

I nodded. I didn't feel like arguing. I didn't feel like yelling at him, saying that it _was _my fault. If i just would have shot Millani, she'd still be here. It was _all _my fault. My fault that she was dead. My fault that Cragen had lost his other best detective. My fault that my best friend was laying in the ground in front of me.

I waited until everyone left. Cragen told me to go home and get some sleep. Yeah, right. There was no way in hell i would be sleeping anytime soon. I watched everyone get into their cars and drive away. After everyone drove away, i sat down next to her grave and let the rest of my tears fall.

"Liv," i yelled into the sky, "I'm so sorry. It was all my fault that this happened. I miss you so much. God, i miss you so much."

After about and hour, i finished crying. I got up, turned around, and started to walk away when i heard someone call my name. I turned around and sitting on Olivia's gravestone, was Olivia.

I couldn't believe it. This couldn't be real. Was this a ghost? I slowly walked over to her.

"Liv?" i asked slowly.

She nodded. "Hey El." She walked over to where i was standing and looked at me.

I couldn't resist it any longer. I grabbed her and hugged her for as long as i could. After a few minutes, she pulled away.

"El, she said, "I just want you to know that this is not your fault. I went into that building. It was my choice. You tried to _save _me. You told me not to go in there but i was too stubborn."

I frowned. "But Liv-"

"No," she interupted me. "El, you didn't do anything, okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Liv, i'm still so sorry. I miss you so damn much."

She nodded. "But Elliot, i'm always going to be with you. I'm never gonna really be gone."

I frowned and she sighed. "Elliot, your heart? I'm gonna be in your heart," she said to me, smiling.

"Ohhhhh," i said, getting it. She shook her head and laughed. I missed that laugh.

"I gotta go El. Be good. Don't piss Cragen off too much," she said to me, walking back to her gravestone.

I nodded and grabbed her in one last hug. After she let go, she looked at me one more time.

"And El, remember-"

"The heart," i said, smiling.

She smiled and nodded her head. After that, she disapeared.

I stood there, smiling. She had just given me the courage to get through all of this. I looked at her gravestone one more time and placed the roses in front of it.

"I love you Liv," i whispered and in my heart, i could have sworn that i heard her say 'I love you too' right back at me.

**A/N: do you know how hard that was to write. I had to keep deleting like paragraph after paragraph cuz i couldn't think of what to write. oh and sorry that the flashback is kinda long. it had to be in order for you to get the story, ya know? and the ending was the hardest part! i didn't know how a good way to end it was! anyway, i hoped you like it. please please please review :)**


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